thoughts du jour

  • "Spend some time alone every day."- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Tuesday 20 November 2007

What comes after marriage and having children?

According to society there are few milestones in a woman's life: the first kiss; the first period; the first time we have sex; the first time we have sex and enjoy it; the first time we move out of home; our marriage; and having children (not in any particular order). So what happens once we have successfully completed all of these milestones? Do we get a medal? Do we become known as successful women who have it all and have done it all? And what happens AFTER these milestones? Do we just fall off the earth? Or do we FINALLY get a say in what WE want to do with your life? And what about those that don't want to get married and have children? Are they written off by society as outcasts?

I'm 25 and already having reached all of these milestones I am beginning to wonder what society says I am "supposed" to be doing next. According to a lot of traditions and cultures, once I have had my quota of children there's really nothing left for me to do but grow older and and wiser. So, I think it's time we re-wrote the milestone's of a woman's life so that we have something to aim for right up until the day we depart this beautiful earth. Here are some of my suggestions:

- your first major family holiday
- your first children-free, romantic holiday
- your first fledgling flying the nest
- your last flegling fliying the nest
- your retirement
- your first career change
- your first home purchase

If you can think of anything else to add, please feel free to leave a comment! I just don't think it's fair that men get to have a mid-life crisis to look forward to after having children. We need our own mid-life crisis to look forward to! The time when we can go a little crazy and blame it on that infamous era in your life where you feel as though you are really losing your youth and you are desperate to keep hold of it.

Melbourne: my beautiful city

We have the pleasure of living in one of the best cities in the world. There is never nothing to do in Melbourne, and it doesn't even have to be a "city that never sleeps". There is so much culture in our beautiful city that we don't need to leave Melbourne to see Europe, the UK or the US because it's all right on our doorstep. Tiny, cafe cluttered alleys that smell like freshly baked bread, coffee and ciggarettes, how very Parisian; Mexican film festivals complete with Mexican food and beer; crowded jazz clubs like those you might find in Chicago, New Orlenes or downtown Manhattan, with cocktails to die for; live music of punk, folk or any other alternative style such as those found in the seedy parts of Manchester; art on almost every block that you don't need to travel to London or Amsterdam to see, because it will always find its way to our doorstep. And all of this in a beautiful city with amazing architecture, luscious gardens and a glorious, friendly atmosphere.
There are treasures all over the city, from the imposing gothic ANZ building on Collins St to the ancient graveyard buried under Queen Victoria Market. Have you ever been to the top of the Rialto building on a fine Spring day? Or walked around the Botanical Gardens early on a Sunday morning? You can do yoga there if you should feel inclined, or eat deliciously fresh scones by the lake.
I have lived in Melbourne for 19 years and I STILL manage to find a new little treasure every time I'm in the city. It's one of those places you could get lost in, and not be at all worried, because you know someone will be friendly enough to point you in the right direction, and there is always a good coffee or tasty cocktail just around the corner.

Sunday 18 November 2007

What DO women want?

It's the million dollar question isn't it? What do women want? And WHY is it the million dollar question? Because we don't really know, do we? We have our wants and needs, as all women do: to be loved; to be happy; to be successful; to feel fulfilled. But beyond that, or, more importantly, combined with that, we don't know.

"I just want to be happy," my friend says matter-of-factly. And although that sounds rather simplistic, it's actually the ultimate thing any woman could want. To be happy. That means, regardless of what job we have, what type of man we have, whether or not we even HAVE a man, we will be happy. To be happy means to be happy within ourselves. Not to rely on exterior objects to influence that. I don't need a man, or the perfect job, or loads of cash, because I am happy within myself, no matter who I'm with, what I'm doing or where I am. And THAT, my friends, is the million dollar answer.

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