thoughts du jour

  • "Spend some time alone every day."- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Monday, 15 June 2009

Who on earth am I? Who on earth are you?

How long did it take you to find out who you are, what you want from life, and what your values are? How old were you when you finally felt comfortable in your own skin, confident of who you are and what your place in this universe is?

I had a conversation with a friend on the weekend, where I admitted I looked forward to being in my 30s because apparently that's when one really gains an understanding and acceptance of who one is and what one loves (I am practicing proper English).

The feelings of being lost, aimless, and clueless haven't been improving as I've grown older. On the contrary, the older I get the more panicked I feel that I don't know myself well enough. 

So what I want to know is this: when did it become clear for you? Was there a defining, light bulb moment, or was it a gradual understanding? Has it become clear? Or are you still where I am, wondering what it is that you are passionate about, where your life is headed, what you want, and how to get it? 


Bells said...

I am nearly 37 and had a major turning point in my life at 34.

I still don't know entirely who or what I am but from that point, I knew I was on the right road to figuring it out.

Amanda said...

I don't know if you ever reach the point of being completely satisfied if you're an ambitious person, as you seem to be, Mel. I think it's natural to keep searching for things that fulfil you.

I'm certainly more content in my 30s but I think that has come from having a loving and stable relationship and two beautiful kids.

I think some central beliefs remain the same but the shades of grey can change as you get older and your circumstances change.

Personally, I think the moment I think I have myself completely worked out will be almost disappointing - because there's nothing to keep striving for.

Lastly, without trying to sound horribly patronising, give yourself a break. You're young, you're smart and you're driven - no one ever said you had to have all the answers by the time you're 30 (or even 60!)

Mel said...

Not patronising at all! Feels almost disappointing, though, to think I may never really understand who the f I am.

Anonymous said...

Wow this is a very good post! It made me sit up and think.

I don't know who I am exactly but I have more compassion for who I am thus far in life.

I am 35 in October and I am absolutely freaking out about aging, it is like I can't believe I'm actually a grown up and I can't just 'go backwards' :))
So I'm struggling with the process of aging but I am loving the good things that come with it, like confidence and empathy for others and figuring out why I behaved the way I did when I was younger.

I like me and I know that I'm never going to be pushed around again or do something I don't want to do, and that's a wonderful feeling of expectation for my future.

There isn't a magical comes on gradually. Talking to women in their fifties, sixties and above is so wonderful - they are so calm and accepting of life and its ups and downs.

Mel said...

Thanks! That's what I like my posts to do- make people think.
I guess every stage of life has its positives, but we focus on negatives which can sometimes outweigh them.

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