A time to study

There is a time for everything in life, as we all know. Unfortunately for me, this is a time for buckling down and studying, as I have two exams to study for and then I have FINISHED my degree (assuming I pass, of course).

So, for the next few weeks, until at least November 12th (my last exam) you won't be hearing from me, because I am studying my little butt off. But I'll keep track of all the important issues in the news, and any ideas for blogging, and will be back here in no time!

Stay tuned!

Abortion debate

The age-old debate of abortion has reared its ugly head again, as parliament debates a possible new legislation on decriminilising abortion up to 24 weeks. It's a topic that everyone (including me, of course) has an opinion on. But who is wrong and who is right?

On the one hand, women will have access to safe, legal abortion facilities. For those that feel they are truly unable to cope with a child, teenage pregnancies, or those affected by drugs and alcohol, this may be the best option. After all, what would be crueler? Bringing a child into a life full of neglect, abuse or no affection? Or preventing a child from living a horrible life in the first place?

But on the other hand, I couldn't imagine going through 24 weeks of pregnancy only to decide for whatever reason that I don't want to go through with having a child any more (I type this as my 2 year old son snuggles up against me on the couch, and my number 2 kicks away furiously in my stomach). Does fate not have a say in things anymore? Is it too much to ask that women not be completely selfish when it comes to the suffering of others, choosing to do away with that which will cause us suffering, rather than suffer and GROW? I just think abortion because a child has Downs, or Dwarfism, or whatever else, is totally, unbelievably selfish.

In short, the option of abortion is necessary, if only to prevent the nasty, unsafe, underground methods to resurface, as they were in the 60s and 70s. It is necessary to prevent a generation of unloved, unwanted children, whose parents have overdosed or ended up in jail. But it is NOT necessary for the sake of making women's lives easier and less painful. You shouldn't be able to change your mind half way through because you just realised your life will be ruined. That's just selfish.

It's funny cos it's true

I found a highly enlightening and entertaining article in a blog of Glamour magazine, and thought I would share it with you. It's written by two guys, Brian Alexander and Michael Somerville, and can certainly provide some insight into the minds of men!
Found at Glamour magazine's Sex, Love and Life blog

Fourteen things he wants you to know about his body
1. Digging your nails into our back or chest only sounds sexy. Think "massage strokes" instead.

2. We may seem calm and secure, but a compliment from you goes a long way.

3. A tongue around the ear is hot; a tongue in the ear is a wet willy.

4. Joking about kneeing or kicking our testicles is not funny. Ever.

5. Every guy has a spot--a good spot. Ask us where it is and how we'd like you to touch it.

6. "Shrinkage" is real and should always be taken into account when making a judgment.

7. Our toenails: We're not sure how they got like that, and we'd like to do something about it. Please advise.

8. Prostate exams (nearly) make up for the whole not-giving-birth thing--you'll see!

9. When it comes to our nipples, most of us can barely feel anything...unless you bite them, and that just hurts.

11. Playing around with our back door can feel good, but good luck getting us to admit it.

12. It is possible to bend the penis too far, cowgirls.

13. Our digestive tract doesn't work any differently than yours. You're just more polite.

14. We definitely think your body's way cooler.

Love Quickie: An emotional affair is worse than having sex with someone else, say 65% of women surveyed.

( article sourced from http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2008/08/14-things-about-his-body

The turning of the seasons

Did anyone else feel the very distinctive change of seasons on Monday? At first I thought it was just wishful thinking- though my backyard definitely had a spring feel to it. The tree in our backyard with lots of little white flowers on it had all of a sudden began buzzing with bees, that beautiful smell of apple blossoms filled the air...(or maybe it's plum?), the air felt decidedly warmer. But as the week continued I realised it wasn't just wishful thinking, spring was here already. Now, it's Friday, this feeling has continued all week, and here I am, in my backyard, sitting at our picninc table, working, typing this, and eating a big plate of fresh fruit....ahhhhh...this is the life.

It seems as though winter never really came this year. The trees never fully lost their leaves- some of the trees in our main street were still half covered- and it never really got as cold as I remember winter being when I was a child. Maybe it's because as you get older you actually tolerate the cold better.Not only did the trees not completely lose their leaves, but the new blossoms began growing far sooner than I remember. And oh my goodness, I just killed the first mozzie of the season!!

When I was a child I used to love summer best. The long days, swimming, going to the beach. Winter used to depress me. Then, a few years ago, I really began to appreciate everything that each season had to offer. In the middle of summer, on a 45 degree day, it's hard not to appreciate those cold, rainy days of winter. And when you're freezing your ass off as you make your way to the train station at 0730 on a Monday morning, it's hard not to look forward to the long, warm days where you can walk around in shorts, a singlet, and thongs. And sometimes, you just long for those days with the perfect 26 degree heat, slight, cool breeze, and cloudless sky. That's one thing I like about Melbourne. At lease we get to experience and appreciate the four seasons.

I have to get back to work now, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on this beautiful day with you, and hope that you are as lucky as me to be able to enjoy it.

Day jobs and night jobs

It seems that we can no longer do what we love as a day job, as our time is tied up doing jobs that ‘get us somewhere’. Friends of mine, a couple, both have their day job and night job. One works as a trainer in one of the major insurance companies by day, and dances in one of Melbourne’s best hip-hop crews by night, as well as the occasional podium dancing. Her fiancé works in one of the Big Banks by day, and is DJ in some of the hottest clubs in Melbourne by night. Which makes me wonder, when did doing what we love take a back seat to doing what we have to?

Part of the reason I think is because people don’t have faith in their own abilities anymore. When I recently went to get a reading done at a psychic, the very first thing she said to me was that I am a great writer, but don’t have confidence in my ability to write, and don’t realise I am as good as I actually am. In high school I always told my trainer-cum-dancer friend that she was an awesome dancer and that she should do it professionally one day, but she would just laugh and shrug it off, not really believing me (or anyone else).

Another reason is because in my group of friends many of the things that we love doing are part of the Arts industry, a fickle and highly volatile industry that can make you an instant success overnight, and leave you in the gutter just as quickly. There’s no room for mediocre in this industry, so unless people are absolutely sure of their talents, they prefer not to risk it, sticking with the safe and secure instead of venturing out on a limb to chase their dreams. Hence, the reason why I am publishing myself on blogs and not in newspapers and magazines (not yet, anyway).
It’s quite sad really. We are living a life that we have settled for, rather than the one we want. Maybe this is just me, my husband, and my group of friends, but I’m sure it’s not. There are more people that would rather be working in a different industry, a different job, than there are people who love what they’re doing and wouldn’t change it for the world.

All I can say is if you stay true to what you believe, and remember what it is you love doing, then one day I can only hope that we will all be doing what we love, and not what we have to.

Generation X and Y: the lost generations?

As I was browsing through a bookstore last week, I picked up the Dalai Lama’s book of wisdom and flicked it to a random page. I can’t remember the exact wording of the quote, but it was something along the lines of materialism being a barrier to happiness. I thought about how unbelievably true it is, and how materialism has left us as individuals less satisfied than if we were poor. Confused? Let me explain.

It has come to my attention how dissatisfied my generation (Generation Y) and Generation X-ers are compared to the Baby Boomers and the Builders Generation from the World War and the Depression. Generally, we have problems staying in any one job for a long period of time because we get bored. We see new technology on television, like 32 inch plasma TV’s, iPods, video games and satellite navigation technology, and we want them. We think that our life would improve if we had them. Then we get them and realise nope, that hasn’t made me happy, it hasn’t satisfied me, and then we look for the next thing we think will do that.

So my question is this. Has the information age and the increase of “new”, “improved” and “convenient” technology been the downfall of our happiness? Has the availablitiy of all these new things made us forget the simple joy of hanging out with your family, having a picnic or just being still?

A few weeks ago I was at a funeral and I began to think about the differences between generations. I know, I know, strange place to be thinking about things like that, but if you let me explain, you’ll understand why.

My previous next door neighbor’s Pop died at aged 86. During the eulogy the family mentioned several things that he loved to do, the main one being going for walks along the beach with his family, collecting shells. Come again? Collecting shells? With his family? To have the pleasure to enjoy something so simple and carefree is almost like existing in another era. Can you imagine our generation being content with collecting shells during our adult life? Even when we (Gen x and y) were children the things we enjoyed to do were much simpler and so different to what I assume children today enjoy.

“What did you enjoy doing when you were a kid?” I asked my husband.
“I dunno…shoot stuff…blow things up…that sort of thing,” (he was a country boy).
“What do you think kids these days enjoy doing?”
“I dunno…shoot things and blow things up on playstation?”

He was probably right.

The days of simplicity are long gone. Our grandparents and parents were content to have one job and stick with it for their entire lives. Our generation will go through several career changes before we retire. Our parents and grandparents were happy just to have jobs and food and a roof over their head. Our generation wants the dream house and the dream job and the dream car, and isn’t satisfied when we get it. We always want more, never being content with what we have, never taking time to slow down and look around and think “gee, I’m actually pretty lucky. I have great friends, a great family, a job.” We are always looking into the future.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. We need that part of ourselves to always want more or humanity would never evolve. But how did it get to be this bad, where what we have got no longer makes us happy? Is it because we don’t even know what makes us happy anymore? Should we be titled “The Lost Generation”?

This is why I really believe the wisdom of the Dalai Lama when he says materialism is a barrier to true happiness. As long as we have attachments to material possessions, we will always feel dissatisfied and will always be wanting more, never satisfied with what we have in the here and now, and never truly being happy.

Hippies have got it right. Why do they all look “unkempt” and carefree? It’s not because they don’t care, it is because they know what’s important in life: friendship, companionship, good health, wisdom and love. Not televisions, cars and fancy houses, designer clothes and expensive makeup.
Let’s get back to basics, because less really is more.

Volunteer to save the world

There is an easier way to helping save the world than pulling an Angelina and trying to adopt a child from every country. It's called volunteering, and you can guarantee to find yourself at least one voluntary position in the area you live in. You don't have to be rich enough to not have to work, you don't have to be retired, and you don't have to spend every spare moment you have doing it. All you have to know is where to look, what you would like to do and how much time you can spare. It's not rocket science.

Even the laziest of lazy people can help! Australian Red Cross has a volunteer program called Telecross Callers. This position requires the volunteer to work from the comfort of their own home, for 1 hour on their rostered days. The basis of the position is to “offer reassurance, personal contact and monitoring to people who are isolated and at risk.” Many people fear the idea of something happening to them and not being found for days, and this program is designed to reassure these people that they are cared for by someone.

Red Cross also offers a Teen Mentor program for those who are more inclined to help teens that might be “socially isolated or disengaged”. This program matches up the volunteer with a compatible teen, where the volunteer provides non-judgmental support and advice. And how much of your precious time will this take up? Anywhere between 45 minutes and an hour a week. That’s right. A week. Whether that means you sacrifice one lunchtime, or start one hour earlier so you can finish earlier. When you consider the possibility that that one hour a week might help a teen through the toughest time of their life, that time seems insignificant.

But Red Cross isn’t the only organization you can volunteer with. If event management is your thing, try volunteering with Oaktree Foundation, who helped organize the Make Poverty History concerts. Or perhaps you can work for RSPCA, helping organize fundraising events, sell tickets or even work in their shops. If this isn’t for you, there is also Saint Vincent De Paul’s, Cancer Council, even your local church, youth group or radio station! It doesn’t matter what you’re interested in, there is a volunteer position to suit everyone.

If it weren’t for the amazing people that volunteer their time so that others may have a real chance at life, all these not-for-profit organisations would quite possibly not exist. If you are interested in keeping the karmic balance of the world, or just want to give back to a society and country that has given you so much, volunteering is the way to go.

Volunteer resources:
- Go Volunteer
- Red Cross
- Seek Volunteer
- Oaktree Foundation
- Australian Volunteer Search
- Conservation Volunteers Australia

Stay tuned next week for "The simple life: those were the days"

Back and better than ever

Hi all! Thanks for tuning in! Sorry about the lack of posts over the last fortnight- I was on a wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii and was brought back to reality (which, as it turns out, is not so bad) on Sunday. Just a heads up that I received numerous responses form my dear friends about what they would be interested in hearing about, and so I have compiled a nice list which I will begin on Thursday, so stay tuned!
Coming up on Thursday:
Volunteer to save the World

What comes after marriage and having children?

According to society there are few milestones in a woman's life: the first kiss; the first period; the first time we have sex; the first time we have sex and enjoy it; the first time we move out of home; our marriage; and having children (not in any particular order). So what happens once we have successfully completed all of these milestones? Do we get a medal? Do we become known as successful women who have it all and have done it all? And what happens AFTER these milestones? Do we just fall off the earth? Or do we FINALLY get a say in what WE want to do with your life? And what about those that don't want to get married and have children? Are they written off by society as outcasts?

I'm 25 and already having reached all of these milestones I am beginning to wonder what society says I am "supposed" to be doing next. According to a lot of traditions and cultures, once I have had my quota of children there's really nothing left for me to do but grow older and and wiser. So, I think it's time we re-wrote the milestone's of a woman's life so that we have something to aim for right up until the day we depart this beautiful earth. Here are some of my suggestions:

- your first major family holiday
- your first children-free, romantic holiday
- your first fledgling flying the nest
- your last flegling fliying the nest
- your retirement
- your first career change
- your first home purchase

If you can think of anything else to add, please feel free to leave a comment! I just don't think it's fair that men get to have a mid-life crisis to look forward to after having children. We need our own mid-life crisis to look forward to! The time when we can go a little crazy and blame it on that infamous era in your life where you feel as though you are really losing your youth and you are desperate to keep hold of it.

Melbourne: my beautiful city

We have the pleasure of living in one of the best cities in the world. There is never nothing to do in Melbourne, and it doesn't even have to be a "city that never sleeps". There is so much culture in our beautiful city that we don't need to leave Melbourne to see Europe, the UK or the US because it's all right on our doorstep. Tiny, cafe cluttered alleys that smell like freshly baked bread, coffee and ciggarettes, how very Parisian; Mexican film festivals complete with Mexican food and beer; crowded jazz clubs like those you might find in Chicago, New Orlenes or downtown Manhattan, with cocktails to die for; live music of punk, folk or any other alternative style such as those found in the seedy parts of Manchester; art on almost every block that you don't need to travel to London or Amsterdam to see, because it will always find its way to our doorstep. And all of this in a beautiful city with amazing architecture, luscious gardens and a glorious, friendly atmosphere.
There are treasures all over the city, from the imposing gothic ANZ building on Collins St to the ancient graveyard buried under Queen Victoria Market. Have you ever been to the top of the Rialto building on a fine Spring day? Or walked around the Botanical Gardens early on a Sunday morning? You can do yoga there if you should feel inclined, or eat deliciously fresh scones by the lake.
I have lived in Melbourne for 19 years and I STILL manage to find a new little treasure every time I'm in the city. It's one of those places you could get lost in, and not be at all worried, because you know someone will be friendly enough to point you in the right direction, and there is always a good coffee or tasty cocktail just around the corner.

What DO women want?

It's the million dollar question isn't it? What do women want? And WHY is it the million dollar question? Because we don't really know, do we? We have our wants and needs, as all women do: to be loved; to be happy; to be successful; to feel fulfilled. But beyond that, or, more importantly, combined with that, we don't know.

"I just want to be happy," my friend says matter-of-factly. And although that sounds rather simplistic, it's actually the ultimate thing any woman could want. To be happy. That means, regardless of what job we have, what type of man we have, whether or not we even HAVE a man, we will be happy. To be happy means to be happy within ourselves. Not to rely on exterior objects to influence that. I don't need a man, or the perfect job, or loads of cash, because I am happy within myself, no matter who I'm with, what I'm doing or where I am. And THAT, my friends, is the million dollar answer.

West end girl in an east end world

I've decided that in order to get a good build-up of writing behind me, it is imperative that I actually write. So, I guess I could use this blog wisely and attempt to put my semi-creative thoughts onto paper (or screen).

After being stuck inside for the last few days with mild viral meningitis, Shane took me and Lachlan into Brighton for some yummy lunch at his work,The Pantry. I never thought it was possible to be satiated with calamari and salad, but this lunch proved to be an exception to that rule. Lachlan seemed to enjoy his chicken and chips, although he got more joy out of eating tomato sauce than anything else. But his greatest joy came from meeting Guy and Julia's little girl, Lottie, who is 14 months. I think Lachlan is subtly hinting at wanting a little brother or sister...(sister, apparently, as I just asked him a few seconds ago). Anyway, he smothered her with hugs and kisses (to which I'm not sure Lottie knew what to make of that), and a few tentative eye pokes.

On another note, I feel torn between my western suburbs facade and my eastern suburbs inner yuppy. On one hand, I wanted to laugh out loud at the couple who bought their little boy in (not much younger than Lachlan) and sat a portable dvd player in front of him to entertain him, while they enjoyed a nice, quiet lunch. But deep down inside (waaayyyyy down) I wished that we were that Brighton couple and had enough money to buy a portable dvd player.

The day ended well, with some retail therapy. I can hear you asking "but how does a west side girl afford east side clothes?" Well, the secret is Quick Brown Fox, on Church St. It has adorable, multi-coloured, extremely funky clothes, shoes and bags, as well as other accessories, at ridiculously affordable prices. I felt like I had entered retail heaven, and I could have spent the rest of the arvo there if it weren't for Lachlan's tired rantings (albeit very quiet ones), and, of course, the lack of money. But I walked away extremely satisfied with a new black slouch bag, and a brown tweed jacket. I have to admit, the satisfying retail experience was helped by the woman behind the counter, who was young and friendly, and not at all pretentious. She helped me find a bag from the many they had in store, and had plenty of patience with me when I proceeded to pull the stuffing out of 4 or 5 of them to see inside.

All in all a very satisfying experience in Brighton that for once didn't leave me wanting to run away and start a new life with a rich Brighton boy. Rather, I learnt there's still hope for my poor, supressed inner eastern suburbs child.

Animal rights activists- do they go too far?

I read an article in The Age Education section on Monday 26 Feb that made me really angry. It was about people that conduct animal research on medication that could in the future be used for humans. Now, don't get me wrong, I think scientific research on animals in order to create better make-up or anything else uneccesary is cruel and inhumane. But I just wonder how these animal rights activists (ARA) think we are supposed to use drugs that haven't yet been tested on animals? I mean, what is the problem with testing a possible cancer cure or new, safe vaccine for the flu on animals? Do they suggest that we dimply don't test and act as guinea pigs for our own means? Should we just stop creating more medicines purely because we have nothing to test them on first? Can they justify the death of many humans for the sake of a few rats, mice and whatever else they use?

I'd really love to hear from an ARA if there is anyone out there. Not to get into an argument but simply to gain insight into the reasoning. I love animals, I really do. I wanted to be a vet when I was younger- before I found out how ridiculously smart you have to be. And before I found out it included putting animals down, something I don't think I could handle. But when it comes to testing possible cures, vaccines and immunisations for the possibility of saving thousands of human lives, then I'm all for it. Unless, of course, there is another approach.

You see, I know too many people that have died of cancer, too many people that currently have cancer. Cancer is the sort of illness that EVERYONE has been directly affected by it, whether having it themselves, or knowing a loved one who has it or has died from it. And unless we test them on animals, how can we come up with a cure?

The article mentioned people who have received death threats, had their property vandalised, been physically or verbally abused, received letter bombs and who knows what else, because they work in animal research laboratories. All I say is this: you know that loved one you know who is ill with some sort of disease? Unless these researchers do their job, your loved one will never be cured.

Comments are welcome. I'd love to hear the other side of the story.