I am not the best mum or the best housewife. I know this. And nor should I be. I mean really, how many of you out there stay on top of the housework, prepare healthy, nutritious meals for your family, play stimulating games with your children, and have a life?
Sometimes, I admit it, I am bloody miserable. My days consist of conversing with a 3 year old, and doing house work. I'm sorry, but how is this supposed to keep even the simplest of people happy? I will often see a whole nine hours of conversation that revolves around asking Lachlan what he wants for breakfast, telling him not to do something once...Twice...Three times, and after that I am definitely not the lady when I start yelling at him. Asking him once...Twice...Three times to DO something, and then yelling at him agAIN when he doesn't listen. Sometimes the most stimulation I will get in a day is reading him The Very Hungry Caterpillar when I get to use my brain power to count how many pieces of fruit the poor caterpillar gets to eat.
It's no wonder so many SAHMs are turning to Twitter and blogging to keep some sanity. It's often the only respite we have to an otherwise monotonous, repetitive, utterly boring, unstimulating day.
Prior to this blog I wouldn't have verbalised this, thinking "what will people think of me?" Thinking people would judge me and think I am an awful mother for saying this. Especially those that don't have children. And I don't blame them, because if I didn't have children I would probably think the same thing. Hell, there's part of me that thinks that anyway, the part that is being controlled by society, that thinks mothers should love being mothers and want to dedicate their entire lives raising their children lovingly with no thought for their own needs and desires.
I am most definitely NOT like this. I want to be able to do my own things as well. I am a complex person who needs a variety of things to keep me happy. My boys are just ONE of the MANY things that keep me happy. Included in this long list of things are my friends and family, books and any type of reading, writing and blogging, taking photos, and getting out and seeing the world.
But after discovering the delightful blog I mentioned in my last post, Crabmommy, I realised I am NOT the only one out there who doesn't think parenting is all sunshine and lollipops. It's bloody hard work. Sometimes it's boring work. Sometimes I feel mean and selfish when I think this. But I don't care what others think anymore, and I know there are others out there that feel the same way I do.
Don't get me wrong. I love my boys with all my heart and body and soul. I would do anything for them, and I wouldn't change anything for the world. BUt sometimes I just want to bitch about how unstimulating my life can be. And that's not a crime, and it doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. And if you feel the same way, I empathise.